Thank You!!!
Wow. We are absolutely astounded and appreciative of the outpouring of love and support that you all have expressed in response to our news that we’re having a baby. Honestly, we didn’t know what to expect in response and were quite apprehensive about sharing our story.
About one thousand of you have responded to the post and many others have sent private messages. A lot of these are deeply personal, with journeys that differ in detail but generally ‘rhyme’ with our experience. We’re humbled by the joy and happiness you’ve shared for and with us, and incredibly thankful for all of you wonderful readers. We are also honored and grateful that so many of you have opened up about your own pain. We know that isn’t easy.
We’ve already spent hours–staying up late into the evening last night (by our current standards)–reading every single message that you all have posted or sent. All of them filled up our hearts; some of them filled our eyes. Your words got us choked up repeatedly, and we are so incredibly appreciative of your support. Whether a “congratulations” message or a personal story, it all means a lot to us. Again, we didn’t know what would happen when putting ourselves out there…but you all have easily exceeded our expectations.
As indicated in the announcement post, writing that was tremendously difficult as we tried to thread the needle on over and under-sharing, while also trying to be mindful about others’ sensitivities and scars, and not inviting more pain in the process. While some entire paragraphs flowed to us with ease and were done in a matter of minutes–words we always knew we wanted to write–we struggled with some single sentences for hours.
We had been working on that post since the day after our first doctor’s appointment and, as recently as last week, threw out an entire draft (minus a Dino-Rama joke; those never miss!) that would’ve ended up being longer than the published piece. It probably goes without saying, but the portion about infertility struggles was the tough part to tackle. That originally included more detail about the actual process and a lengthy rant about fertility clinics’ using emotionally manipulative tactics and spurious statistics. (Google “fertility clinics exploitation” for a small samping of eye-opening articles on the topic.)
For those who haven’t struggled with infertility, it would have come across as bitter. For those who have struggled, the missing words can easily be filled in with your lived experiences. If you know, you know. In any case, writing it out–even if throwing it away–was cathartic and perhaps brought some semblance of closure. It was also the right call given that we’re sharing happy and not angry news!
Suffice to say, we stressed greatly over what to share and what to leave out. Beyond our own pain, we didn’t want to imply that having children is the only means of achieving fulfillment, and those who walk other paths in life–whether by choice or involuntarily–are somehow lesser than or without purpose. That’s pervasive (even if often implicit) sentiment, but we certainly do not believe it. Nevertheless, it took us years of grappling with exactly those ideas before we had finally started coming to terms with being a childless couple late last year.
We also didn’t want to cause anyone else to revisit unpleasant memories or be callous towards those who are still struggling. As more than a few readers noted in the comments, this type of announcement is itself painful to read for many, and those complicated and conflicted emotions can be hard to understand if you’ve never been through it.
The sentiment to “never give up hope” starts to ring hollow after so many years of trying. How much heartbreak are two people supposed to endure while still retaining optimism? Words of encouragement are easy for those who haven’t struggled, or who have ‘successfully’ come through the other side.
The point is that we wrestled with what to say and what to leave out, finding excuses to kick the can down the road on sharing the news. Sharing the good news! We braced ourselves for possible judgment or negative reactions. One day later, reading all of the actual, unequivocally supportive and gracious comments…and those concerns seem laughably silly now.
We were instead greeted with an outpouring of comfort, support, and kindness. Your own heartwrenching and heartwarming stories about going through infertility treatments that bear strikingly similarities to our struggles. You opened up and shared your own vulnerabilities, excitement, and joyousness for two people who you’ve “only” met online. Your words mean the world to us–probably far more than most of you will ever know. Thank you so, so much.
It is also worth emphasizing the intensity of the air quotes around “only” above. We started out the pregnancy announcement by calling you all part of the DTB family and concluded by saying how greatly we appreciate your support and readership. We mean that. Megatron is going to be so loved.
How we wish we could’ve heard some of your wisdom and experiences at our lowest points. It’s one thing to read about others’ journeys in online support groups and whatnot–it’s another entirely coming from people who know you.
Many of you seem to have surmised what we were going through, so maybe we should’ve said something before. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and sharing this years ago would’ve been a different, half-written story with potentially different outcomes and responses.
Okay, enough of that. Let’s look forward a little. Not to Megatron’s arrival and that glorious first meeting with Figment, but in the more immediate future. As some of you already figured out, there’s already been a lot that Sarah has not been able to do in recent months. You can probably think back and fill in some blanks, such as why Tom is the only one in the TRON Lightcycle Run on-ride photos (looking like a very cool dude).
Now that the cat is out of the bag, we can switch up our approach. Obviously, there will still be significant limitations, with a decent amount of Tom-only stuff for the foreseeable future. But that’s nothing new, so if you haven’t already noticed in the last few months, you won’t see any change there. (Suffice to say, our divide and conquer approach to Early Entry is not going to happen anytime soon!)
On the plus side, no more clandestine visits to Disneyland. We now can spend more time in the parks and, as many of you suggested, work on “What to Expect (at Disney) When You’re Expecting” posts and strategy. And of course, more photos of us as we continue on this journey, which has already gone by so quickly. Oh and speaking of which, thanks for all the complimentary words about the maternity photos; those were also much appreciated!
We’ve also made notes of some of the books, strollers and other products for babies and children you’ve recommended, and have a lot of research and learning to do. (The Dwight Schrute stroller testing remark was not a joke–it’s a goal!) Beyond that, we have to catch up and keep up with all of the ongoing changes at Walt Disney World and Disneyland, which would be a herculean task in normal times given the volume of recent news. It has been especially challenging as we’ve juggled it with all of this and everything else.
(Above is our last character photo before learning the news–also technically one of our first maternity photos–with OG DCA Mickey & Minnie Mouse. Fitting, as we now embark upon our own new Disney California adventure!)
Ultimately, we just wanted to stop and share a very sincere and heartfelt thank you. We truly are fortunate to have the best and most thoughtful readers. That may seem like a trite platitude, but we really mean it. Spend any amount of time browsing the comments section here versus most other websites and you’ll see the contrast. There’s a reason why the first rule of the internet is never read the comments. Thankfully, that has never applied with you all.
We’ll be back with more updates as pregnancy continues and Megatron (or Baby Bricker, Disney Tourist Baby, etc.) comes into the world. In the meantime, we’ll return to your regularly scheduled programming about reservation modifications, minions, Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party, etc. Again, thank you all so, so much for your support and opening your arms and hearts to us. It really means a lot to us–more than you can probably imagine!
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YOUR THOUGHTS
Any additional thoughts you have in response to our pregnancy announcement? Disney planning and pregnancy posts you’d be interested in reading? (Again, we don’t know how much we’re going to feel comfortable putting ourselves and our child out there, so we’d greatly appreciate you granting us grace and patience as we find our footing and prepare to be parents!) Hearing your feedback is always appreciated, so please share your thoughts below in the comments!
Congratulations!! As some others have mentioned, your announcement post brought tears to my eyes… So happy for you both! Reading your blog over the years does sort of make me feel like part of your extended family lol. My husband is not a Disney nut like I am, and he NEVER reads anything on the internet, but when I told him that Tom Bricker and his wife were having a baby, he knew exactly who you are because I talk about you all the time! Congrats again to you and Sarah, and also to your actual biological extended family! I am sure they are all excited for you as well!
Well, if a thousand have already responded, I’m a little late to this party, but congrats for on Baby Bricker!
I can’t tell you the number of times we’ve been in the parks and said ‘Thanks Tom’ for some nugget of information that you’ve shared that has made our park visits more enjoyable. The speed at which you release resort discounts is particularly helpful and appreciated! All the best to you both as your family grows! You never know, this could just be the beginning!
Your news made my day; so glad to have your insights and to be included on the new journey!
Congrats. Being a parent is a tough but rewarding job.
Re: Strollers. On our most recent trip, April 23, we rented a double seated stroller from Scooter Bug. Very reasonably priced, delivery and pick up at the resort. Perfect.
Our two kids are 7 and 4. Consequently, not babies but given that we averaged 15,000 steps daily, the stroller was a blessing when these guys needed to crash for a quick nap. The stroller also held our gear! Something to think about!
We also took your advice, Tom, and purchased apple air tags for luggage and placed one on the stroller. Note that almost every stroller we saw was black in color. The air tag really works when Disney characters are doing their job and moving these strollers from one area to another! Thanks for the tip. It worked!
Not good news – GREAT NEWS! Congratulations to you both! You should share your excitement and people should be happy for you. I tried to cover my excitement up when I was expecting, to spare others’ feelings (even though I had a struggles of my own) and it only back-fired. Be happy and let it show!
Another DTB Bricker coming into the world can only be a good thing! I am an annual passholder and the Disney “expert” in our circles but still read your column as soon as it comes out to learn everything new going on. Thank you for making my life more knowledgeable (and entertaining – I LOVE your sense of humor!) and sharing your time with us. It’s hard to find time to do all that you do but you two seem so organized I know Baby Bricker will be in GREAT hands. So happy for you two – you deserve every happiness in the world. Enjoy the journey – life is about to get hectic……
I think this post sums up why we all are so genuinely happy for you! I feel truly touched to hear that you took the time to read all our posts—and here’s another one to say THANK YOU for letting us follow along with you as part of your DTB family! You may not realize how much joy your blog brings but when I was a stressed out mom of three kids under 5 trying to plan our first disney trips while working 18 hour days at a biglaw firm, your blog was a godsend. Now if we can ever return the favor with baby gear advice or any disney-with-babies questions you may have don’t hesitate to ask! SO SUPER HAPPY FOR YOU!
Been a long time since mine were infants. The only advice I will give is that everything you think you know (about babies and kids) is wrong and it’s just easier once you accept it. And most important is to enjoy it all. Happy for you both.
Seeing the Bricker baby’s first trip to Disney World is going to be so exciting!
Congratulations! We are one of those couples who don’t have our own kids (medical issues) but that has given us the chance to take lots of kids (and their families) to Disneyland and WDW that never would have been able to go. Even though they aren’t our kids seeing the parks through their eyes was always a special blessing we enjoyed. Can’t wait to see all the Megatron pics on his/her adventures with you in the years to come.
Even though my family Disney trip has come to pass I still read DTB because of how well written, witty, and heartfelt you are in your blog. You do share details about your life in a way that makes me feel like we’re friends even though we’ve never met and I’m a stranger to you. I was going to send well wishes last night after reading your announcement yesterday but my large (by that I mean age 14 and 6’0″, 12 and 5’8″ monsters) were keeping me very occupied last night. I too had wondered about Sarah not being in photos any longer and surmised along with the move back to CA. Your family and privacy is always something to protect. I have a sick kiddo that will not get better for another 15 years with an incredibly rare disease (1:5,000,000) and medical privacy is a thing for me and my family. To that end I have a recommendation for you two https://a.co/d/cJAYrv7. It’s “Raising a Screen-Smart Kid” by a very funny woman that I followed for years on her blog Rants From Mommyland. It talks about child privacy online and what parents should think about with the digital age that we’re in, not what I grew up with mind you I’m a bit older than you two, 45 and Gen X. My parents talked about my whole life in detail to complete strangers to me because they were acquaintances and just what that generation did. I take a very different tactic with my children and have had to have some very hard conversations with my family about privacy, what they’re allowed to share, and what is just ours to deal with internally including their images. All of this to say – whatever you deem acceptable to share is just a bonus to us strangers across the internet, even as we have questions. Setting boundaries is always a good and healthy thing to do wherever you’re comfortable.
Also, for Sarah I would recommend the book “Belly Laughs” by Jenny McCarthy. Regardless of Jenny’s politics and views about vaccination (no faster way to have a conflict with mothers BTW with that topic, well perhaps breastfeeding is faster) her book about pregnancy is very funny and strangely informative in a way that other resources didn’t address. Good luck!
Tom and Sarah,
Congratulations! Infertility is a lonely, joy-sucking thing to endure, and I’m glad your story has a happy ending! My story did also, but in a different way – we adopted our bundle of joy 15 years ago, and he’s a tried and true Disney expert already thanks in part to your time saving advice. It’s more difficult to rope drop with a teenager, but it’s always worth it once we get there!
I won’t need the advice that I’m sure your blog will now focus on – my stroller and diaper bag days are over, but I will read them just to see how you navigate Disney with a baby! Best of luck to you and your little Mickey or Minnie!
It brings me joy to know that you all were met with such support, which in turn brought you joy. I’ve posted some version of it before, but the resources on this blog allowed us to have two “perfect” trips to Disneyworld with my children and my dad before he passed. Those trips will always be very important to me, as my favorite vacations as a kid were to Disneyworld because they were the only trips where we were far enough away he couldn’t get called back to work. It’s like we had the opportunity to complete a circle of some sorts. It’s wonderful to see good things happen to good people. I’m sure you wouldn’t do it, but if you post some sort of virtual baby shower for megatron sign me up!
Congratulations Tom and Sarah! I’ve been following you two for about 9 years of this DTB. Just for perspective, I’m a 62-yr-old grandpa who made a pact with my wife to take each of our grandchildren to DL when each turned 5/6. We started with our oldest grandson when he was 5. He is now 14 and the whole grand bunch has blossomed to 12. Hence, I’ve needed reliable guidance and experience. Your blog has been entertaining, educational, and inspiring. I thank you both and wish you so much happiness!
P.S. a hard NO on Megatron or any other fictional character name. Of course, you could use that as a nickname if her given name were “Megan”.
I wanted to respond to your original post yesterday, but after 1,000+ comments, I didn’t want to make you have to read another. But congratulations. I believe it will be well worth the wait.
A few decades ago, my wife (now deceased) and I struggled to have a baby. We ultimately adopted a baby girl, 9 weeks old at the time. Last September, I took her and her new spouse to Disney World for her birthday. We had not been since 2002 and her spouse had never been. It was a great experience. Disney World never gets old.
PS: I’m sure you will have your baby there shortly after leaving the hospital! Just joking! But I know that many people bring toddlers, even infants to Disney World. My personal opinion is that both the child and the parents would enjoy Disney World much more if they waited until the child was 4-5 years old. A younger child won’t remember any of it, and will they ever really see all the pictures the parents take?
Congratulations! Your knowledge and love of all things Disney is what drew me to your site. Your kindness and humor kept me coming back. The fact you care about the feelings of others shows what wonderful people you are. You will carry that over into being encouraging, supportive and loving parents. Again Congratulations!
So happy for both of you. Our son and daughter-in-law were told they would not be able to have children. After 9 years of trying, they became pregnant. They named their son Jason Nathaniel. Jason means ‘healed’ and Nathaniel is ‘gift of God’. We just came returned from spending our first trip to Disneyland with our grandson. My wife and I always said that anyone that takes a young child to Disney is crazy. Fortunately, we never listened to our advise, so don’t you either :-).
If someone did not mention , one thing you need to get for the stroller is a cover to protect it from rain. We learned the hard way! lol. Rain comes and goes, especially in Florida. It is always nice to come out to a dry stroller and stroller bag!
Congrats to you both! I’ve read your site for years and always been astounded at how well written it is and the perfect mix of professionalism and genuine heart and humor. I am extremely happy for you guys and wish you all the best.