Thank You!!!
Wow. We are absolutely astounded and appreciative of the outpouring of love and support that you all have expressed in response to our news that we’re having a baby. Honestly, we didn’t know what to expect in response and were quite apprehensive about sharing our story.
About one thousand of you have responded to the post and many others have sent private messages. A lot of these are deeply personal, with journeys that differ in detail but generally ‘rhyme’ with our experience. We’re humbled by the joy and happiness you’ve shared for and with us, and incredibly thankful for all of you wonderful readers. We are also honored and grateful that so many of you have opened up about your own pain. We know that isn’t easy.
We’ve already spent hours–staying up late into the evening last night (by our current standards)–reading every single message that you all have posted or sent. All of them filled up our hearts; some of them filled our eyes. Your words got us choked up repeatedly, and we are so incredibly appreciative of your support. Whether a “congratulations” message or a personal story, it all means a lot to us. Again, we didn’t know what would happen when putting ourselves out there…but you all have easily exceeded our expectations.
As indicated in the announcement post, writing that was tremendously difficult as we tried to thread the needle on over and under-sharing, while also trying to be mindful about others’ sensitivities and scars, and not inviting more pain in the process. While some entire paragraphs flowed to us with ease and were done in a matter of minutes–words we always knew we wanted to write–we struggled with some single sentences for hours.
We had been working on that post since the day after our first doctor’s appointment and, as recently as last week, threw out an entire draft (minus a Dino-Rama joke; those never miss!) that would’ve ended up being longer than the published piece. It probably goes without saying, but the portion about infertility struggles was the tough part to tackle. That originally included more detail about the actual process and a lengthy rant about fertility clinics’ using emotionally manipulative tactics and spurious statistics. (Google “fertility clinics exploitation” for a small samping of eye-opening articles on the topic.)
For those who haven’t struggled with infertility, it would have come across as bitter. For those who have struggled, the missing words can easily be filled in with your lived experiences. If you know, you know. In any case, writing it out–even if throwing it away–was cathartic and perhaps brought some semblance of closure. It was also the right call given that we’re sharing happy and not angry news!
Suffice to say, we stressed greatly over what to share and what to leave out. Beyond our own pain, we didn’t want to imply that having children is the only means of achieving fulfillment, and those who walk other paths in life–whether by choice or involuntarily–are somehow lesser than or without purpose. That’s pervasive (even if often implicit) sentiment, but we certainly do not believe it. Nevertheless, it took us years of grappling with exactly those ideas before we had finally started coming to terms with being a childless couple late last year.
We also didn’t want to cause anyone else to revisit unpleasant memories or be callous towards those who are still struggling. As more than a few readers noted in the comments, this type of announcement is itself painful to read for many, and those complicated and conflicted emotions can be hard to understand if you’ve never been through it.
The sentiment to “never give up hope” starts to ring hollow after so many years of trying. How much heartbreak are two people supposed to endure while still retaining optimism? Words of encouragement are easy for those who haven’t struggled, or who have ‘successfully’ come through the other side.
The point is that we wrestled with what to say and what to leave out, finding excuses to kick the can down the road on sharing the news. Sharing the good news! We braced ourselves for possible judgment or negative reactions. One day later, reading all of the actual, unequivocally supportive and gracious comments…and those concerns seem laughably silly now.
We were instead greeted with an outpouring of comfort, support, and kindness. Your own heartwrenching and heartwarming stories about going through infertility treatments that bear strikingly similarities to our struggles. You opened up and shared your own vulnerabilities, excitement, and joyousness for two people who you’ve “only” met online. Your words mean the world to us–probably far more than most of you will ever know. Thank you so, so much.
It is also worth emphasizing the intensity of the air quotes around “only” above. We started out the pregnancy announcement by calling you all part of the DTB family and concluded by saying how greatly we appreciate your support and readership. We mean that. Megatron is going to be so loved.
How we wish we could’ve heard some of your wisdom and experiences at our lowest points. It’s one thing to read about others’ journeys in online support groups and whatnot–it’s another entirely coming from people who know you.
Many of you seem to have surmised what we were going through, so maybe we should’ve said something before. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and sharing this years ago would’ve been a different, half-written story with potentially different outcomes and responses.
Okay, enough of that. Let’s look forward a little. Not to Megatron’s arrival and that glorious first meeting with Figment, but in the more immediate future. As some of you already figured out, there’s already been a lot that Sarah has not been able to do in recent months. You can probably think back and fill in some blanks, such as why Tom is the only one in the TRON Lightcycle Run on-ride photos (looking like a very cool dude).
Now that the cat is out of the bag, we can switch up our approach. Obviously, there will still be significant limitations, with a decent amount of Tom-only stuff for the foreseeable future. But that’s nothing new, so if you haven’t already noticed in the last few months, you won’t see any change there. (Suffice to say, our divide and conquer approach to Early Entry is not going to happen anytime soon!)
On the plus side, no more clandestine visits to Disneyland. We now can spend more time in the parks and, as many of you suggested, work on “What to Expect (at Disney) When You’re Expecting” posts and strategy. And of course, more photos of us as we continue on this journey, which has already gone by so quickly. Oh and speaking of which, thanks for all the complimentary words about the maternity photos; those were also much appreciated!
We’ve also made notes of some of the books, strollers and other products for babies and children you’ve recommended, and have a lot of research and learning to do. (The Dwight Schrute stroller testing remark was not a joke–it’s a goal!) Beyond that, we have to catch up and keep up with all of the ongoing changes at Walt Disney World and Disneyland, which would be a herculean task in normal times given the volume of recent news. It has been especially challenging as we’ve juggled it with all of this and everything else.
(Above is our last character photo before learning the news–also technically one of our first maternity photos–with OG DCA Mickey & Minnie Mouse. Fitting, as we now embark upon our own new Disney California adventure!)
Ultimately, we just wanted to stop and share a very sincere and heartfelt thank you. We truly are fortunate to have the best and most thoughtful readers. That may seem like a trite platitude, but we really mean it. Spend any amount of time browsing the comments section here versus most other websites and you’ll see the contrast. There’s a reason why the first rule of the internet is never read the comments. Thankfully, that has never applied with you all.
We’ll be back with more updates as pregnancy continues and Megatron (or Baby Bricker, Disney Tourist Baby, etc.) comes into the world. In the meantime, we’ll return to your regularly scheduled programming about reservation modifications, minions, Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party, etc. Again, thank you all so, so much for your support and opening your arms and hearts to us. It really means a lot to us–more than you can probably imagine!
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YOUR THOUGHTS
Any additional thoughts you have in response to our pregnancy announcement? Disney planning and pregnancy posts you’d be interested in reading? (Again, we don’t know how much we’re going to feel comfortable putting ourselves and our child out there, so we’d greatly appreciate you granting us grace and patience as we find our footing and prepare to be parents!) Hearing your feedback is always appreciated, so please share your thoughts below in the comments!
I’m so happy for you both! As someone who also went through infertility issues I am incredibly excited for you and appreciate the heartfelt and genuine way you shared the news. I look forward to following you all with your new adventures with Megatron!
That’s a very thoughtful way to handle the entirety of your situation. Glad it did in fact finally get to this point for you two after all the optimism was drained out of you. It’s fantastic to read.
Random parenting advice: there will be many times where your child(ren) has no idea how hard you’re trying. Try not to get frustrated by it. They’ll realize it one day “You’ll understand when you’re a parent…” is an absolute fact of the universe.
As a childfree by choice person, I just want to say that I really appreciate your sentiment that you “didn’t want to imply that having children is the only means of achieving fulfillment.” I have never once in all my readership years gotten that vibe from this blog and I felt nothing but true joy reading your announcement. It’s not for me, but that doesn’t mean we can’t lift each other up and celebrate life’s joys – including seeing awesome people like you become parents. Cheers!
Your blog was an incredible resource last year when I was planning our family’s first WDW trip with our three kids (each born after some difficulties and losses, too). I so appreciate your honesty, hard work, good humor, and passion for all things Disney. You are clearly two special and kind people, and I wish you a joyful pregnancy and the fulfillment of this beautiful dream. (It’s normal to be scared during pregnancy after IF, but it will get better). Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
Tom and Sarah, would love for you to make a amazon or baby registry of any kind. Want to get Megatron started off right with all the Disney stuff we can send! Congratulations again, so very happy for you both.
Yes, please! You give so much joy to others. It would be so much fun to send joy your way in the form of baby gear. No thank you notes necessary. Haha.
🙂
I was thinking this same thing. Will keep an eye out for a registry. So excited for you both and looking forward to reading your new journeys navigating Disney
Even with the announcements about the Galactic Starcruiser closing and the cancellation of Lake Nona, you guys having a baby is still the biggest news of today.
Congratulations! 6 years of fertility issues and now we have 3 Disney freaks of our own ages 15-20. Worth every minute of those six years of struggle. Welcome to the next phase of this wild ride!
mega-congrats! I so empathize with you…I had only a 5% chance (after my then-husband’s vasectomy reversal) 35 years ago when my miracle baby was born. I lost 2’babies before my son was born. so I share both the pain of getting there and the joy of your pregnancy. But know the best is still coming. Being my son’s mother has been (and continues to be) pure joy (including sleepless newborn nights, teenage rebellion, the expense of college and law school–the whole enchilada!)…and now my beloved son has given me my most precious grandson (his first WDW trip, in January, at 18 months, is now a very special memory). The joy just keeps growing. Please continue to share Megatron’s progress with us (when is he due?). sending love to all 3 of you…
Congratulations! You have truly been blessed. Megatron will also be blessed. I can’t imagine a more fun filled life than growing up with Disney fanatics like you both. But even better than a Disney childhood is growing up knowing just how much your parents wanted you and fought to have you. Savor every minute, you will not believe how fast his childhood years pass. Praying for continued joy and happiness!
Now you get to join the ranks of exhausted Disney moms & dads who’ve pushed a stroller through the intense crowds in 900 degree/ 500% humidity Florida weather. I’d start getting in shape now for that if I were you hahaha. Congrats again!
This is so so wonderful. I’ve been reading your blog since we decided to take our kids to Disney (after our own fertility journey!:)) and have just felt through reading your posts you are two wonderful people who deserve great things and I am so excited that one of those great things you wanted to happen is now a reality!! It’s great to see good people happy and live their dreams! A dream is a wish your heart makes and yours has been in your heart for so very long and you’ve undoubtedly endured seemingly unending heartbreak- but this dream has come true and it’s so beautiful to be an internet part of!
All the best to you, tom and Sarah! I’ll still be reading as we continue to take our trips and maybe one day we will see you walking the park with baby Bricker- looking frazzled like the rest us stroller folks!
I am so very happy for you both as you move ahead into becoming truly loving adoring parents. I am a grandmother of 2 beautiful girls who are growing up so fast, the oldest now just finishing her freshman year at our local community college. The youngest soon to be finishing her sophomore year at high school. I truly became the happiest person on earth when my beautiful daughter gave me these two precious girls. We have celebrated special occasions three times in the last ten years at Disney World spending a week each time enjoying Disney thru their eyes and feeling the love that only a child can truly express when experiencing the truly magical experience only Disney World can bring. I enjoy reading your updates and will love hearing more about your joyous news. Again, Sarah and Tom, take it from an old Grandma, children grow so fast so enjoy every single second from here on out many congratulations and may God Bless all of you! Thank you for everything you do for all of us!
Congratulations!
Can you post an Amazon baby wishlist please? For readers who would like to get something for the baby? Or a link to contribute to the baby’s education fund if you aren’t into stuff?
Thank you both for sharing your exciting news with your DTB family. Honored to be part of your family.
Looking ahead to more updates and how families are able to experience opportunities for young families.
Your reports and comments are always spot on because you both have taken the time and effort to share from your first hand experiences. Blessings!
Tom and Sarah, I am so happy for you! My wife is a DES daughter and we had related problems with pregnancy, but the ultimate result was a miraculous little girl (who is now your age!). We had also about given up and so we appreciate what you’ve gone through. For us, the reward has been worth the pain and I hope very much that turns out to be the case for you as well!
Congratulations! So happy for you both! Your baby will be so lucky to have parents like you.
“If you know, you know”. Indeed we know. The parks were fun before kids (CA Adventure and Epcot, in particular), but they are now more fun with our son. As DLR annual passholders pushing our little meatball around in his Dwight Schrute approved sturdy and sensible stroller, spending a lot of time with the friendly staff during feedings and changings in the baby center, to a family of new DVC members who have made a new tradition to visit WDW each year for his birthday- going in a few weeks to celebrate his 10th bday at SSR….we cannot imagine what our life was like before becoming a family of three. As crappy as all of the IF money and heartbreak and adoption false starts were (there is still PTSD), seeing our little daredevil fearlessly vibe on all the thrill rides from as soon as he reached the height requirements, with his favorites being Cosmic Rewind (I Ran is his song of choice) to the opposite end of the spectrum childlike spectrum of IASM, experiencing both rides with him makes our hearts swoon. Congrats and thank you for sharing your story and envelop yourself in the catharsis of sharing your joy!
What splendid news! As for parenting, just be kind and loving to each other (I know you are) and Megatron will pick up on it. Everything else is just details.
Sarah, you are just glowing! yours and Tom’s corner of the interwebs is, and has always been, one of my favorite places to visit. Just so, so happy for your family ❤️