How We Got Over Fears of Flying with a Baby to Disney & What We Pack to “Survive”

Despite logging hundreds of flights before becoming parents, Sarah and I were terrified for our first time flying with a baby. Thanks to horror stories about inconsolable infants who cried the entire time, we were fearful that we wouldn’t be able to soothe our daughter and would have to deal with complaints from frustrated passengers.

If you’re similarly fearful, here’s our advice to put your mind at ease. This includes how we’ve mitigated “risks” to the greatest extent possible, plus toys and gadgets we pack for our toddler to pass the time in the airport & aboard airplanes, tips & tricks to prepare for and “survive” those first flights, and more.

Before we get going, it’s worth acknowledging the obvious: there’s no one-size-fits-all parenting advice. What worked for us may not work for you. Having one (1) toddler does not grant us insight into some mythical universal experience with babies and small children, because there isn’t one. We do not purport to be parenting experts. This is our anecdotal experience, which may or may not be helpful to you. At absolute minimum, the pep talk below should be useful if you’re a fearful flier worried about that first trip with a baby or toddler!

Following some of our trips to Walt Disney World with our daughter (Megatron), we’ve shared cautionary tales or teachable moments for other young families. See our ‘parent fails’ from Baby Bricker’s first WDW trip – part 1 and part 2. We also shared ‘what went right’ during our first family trip – part 1 and part 2.

More recently, we followed those up with Biggest Lessons Learned on Baby Bricker’s Christmas Vacation to Walt Disney World. If you’re looking for something that pertains to international travel, we documented the highs and lows of Our Experience Doing 6 Weeks in Japan with a Baby on TravelCaffeine.

As opposed to being a quasi trip report, this post aims to distill what we’ve learned over the course of many trips into actionable advice, specifically for flying (plus packing recommendations applicable to park days).

A lot of this revolves around preparing for that first flight and having enough to keep babies and toddlers entertained while getting ready, and during down moments (like waiting in line!) at the parks. These were the two things that terrified us before traveling with our baby, which we did for the first time at around 6 months old.

Without question, that is the sweet spot for taking trips in those first couple of years. Perhaps that’s a separate post, but if you have the opportunity and you’re on the fence about taking a big trip at around the 6 to 8 month window, we would absolutely recommend doing it, and in the most enthusiastic of terms as possible.

Since that first trip to Walt Disney World around 6 months old, our daughter, Megatron, has flown over a dozen flights, most of which have been 4 hours or longer. She has done three round-trip flights to Japan, plus one to Paris and another to Hong Kong. Not all of these have gone flawlessly, but none of my worst fears or (literal) nightmares before we started traveling have ever come even close to true.

One of the mental hurdles before traveling was being “those people” on flights who are a burden or problem passengers. I attribute this to a medical affliction known as Native Midwesterner. We are overly apprehensive of being in the way, annoying, and burdened by personalities that err on the side of overly-apologetic. Thankfully, we are both on the path to recovery.

That “condition” is either going to be 100% relatable or an absolutely foreign concept depending upon your disposition and/or the state where you were born. If it’s a nagging worry you have, my best advice is get over it. Seriously.

First, every adult was a baby at one point in their lives, even nonparents. Second, people need to get places regardless of age. Those are just two facts of life. I could go on a rant about how children being unwelcome in public spaces by certain adults is directly connected to our aging population problem, but I’ll spare you from that.

The third and final point is that noise-cancelling headphones exist. If someone is “sensitive” to the sound of a crying baby or talkative toddler, and opted to fly but elected against noise-cancelling headphones, that is another medical affliction, commonly known as a Them Problem.

If that logic is insufficient to get you to overcome whatever baby or toddler travel trepidations you might have, a final suggestion is flying Southwest Airlines. If someone dislikes children, doesn’t have noise-cancelling headphones and opts to fly Southwest, which is basically the preschool in the sky, that person needs to seriously reevaluate their decisions.

If fears about flying with an infant or toddler are a foreign concept to you, this pep talk might seem like overkill. But if you know, you know. I wish it’s something I woud’ve read about two years ago. I had literal nightmares before our first couple of flights, dreading the worst case scenario playing out, and complaints from or conflicts with other passengers.

In fact, our first Walt Disney World trip wasn’t even supposed to be our first trip. We had planned on doing a longer flight at around 8 months, but we were really nervous about that, so we did Orlando as a shorter, “practice” flight first just to make sure it was doable. That turned out to be a fantastic decision, as we learned a lot by doing and adjusted our expectations and what we packed accordingly on that basis.

Horror Stories Happen, But Are Unrepresentative of Reality

Suffice to say, our first flight with a baby was a very big mental barrier. It was also a needless one.

Despite hearing the horror stories, our experiences have been unequivocally positive. Our fellow passengers have been thoughtful, helpful, polite, and conversational. Never in my life have strangers been as nice or chatty with me as in the last few years, when our daughter has been present.

Random strangers offering unprompted assistance has been one unexpected surprise of being a parent, and extends far beyond airports and planes. In hindsight, I suppose it makes sense. You’re instantly more relatable and approachable with a child to a wide swath of the population who has been in your shoes, and they want to pay it forward. (Now I feel like I sort of understand what life is like for pretty people…but perhaps I just look incompetent!)

This should underscore the chasm between social media and real life, with the horror stories being overrepresented online and the quiet moments of kindness not receiving nearly the same attention. So here’s your periodic reminder that people are mostly good.

Fly Nonstop Whenever Possible

Whenever possible, we do non-stop flights. For us, this means flying out of Los Angeles as opposed to John Wayne Airport, which is much closer to us. We’ll take the longer commute over the connection. We’ve also flown out of San Diego and Long Beach when those have had non-stop options. Obviously, this is advice isn’t going to be applicable to those who are not within driving distance of multiple airports, but for those who are, we’d recommend this.

Another recommendation we’d make is to have a normal but exhausting day pre-flight. Prior to having a baby, we often packed at the absolute last-minute, sometimes shortly before leaving for the airport. Now we aim to accomplish this days in advance to avoid a chaotic morning.

We also aim to arrive at the airport far in advance. Again, we’re flying out of LAX, which means traffic and unpredictability, so we err on the side of caution and get there way too early. The upside of this is getting adjusted for travel before flights, and playing at the airport. Many have kids’ areas, and even those that do not have plenty of space for walking and tiring out tykes.

Choosing the Best Flights for Toddlers

Give serious thought to the timing of your flights. When traveling as a couple, we favored early morning flights. Now, those are the worst option for us. Our family’s strong preference has become flights that overlap with the afternoon nap.

When it comes to international trips, we’ve found that far and away the best option is overnight flights. If traveling to Asia, this is our recommendation regardless, as it can make adjusting to jet lag much easier if you hit the ground running and power through the day. (Not easy, but it is possible!)

We also recommend TSA Touchless, as well as Global Entry if you’re flying internationally with any degree of regularity (getting the latter for our daughter was a painless process upon reentry into the United States).

The other big reason our family flights have largely gone smoothly is because we’ve been prepared for the worst case scenario, and packed accordingly. Sarah’s entire travel backpack is stuffed to the brim with activities for Megatron. Speaking of which, here’s a rundown of what else has worked for us, and what we’ve brought on our various trips for Megatron…

Travel Car Seat

Until the age of two years old, infant lap child can fly for free on domestic flights. This is controversial, as the FAA and AAP “strongly recommend” securing your baby in an FAA-approved car seat for maximum safety. As best I can tell, this is another controversy that only exists on the internet.

In the real world, the overwhelming majority of babies fly as lap children. I’m not wading into the controversy. DTB’s official stance is that how you parent is your business, not mine. The world has more than enough judgment and second-guessing without me weighing in on it.

Megatron never flew as a lap child because all of our flights were longer, we have plenty of miles, and once we found that the car seat worked well for us, we didn’t want to rock the boat/plane by mixing things up. There were trips when she was a de facto lap child for 75% of the flight and I cringed at the ‘wasted’ seat, but it’s the approach that worked for us. Your mileage may vary.

Our advice would be to purchase a seat and fly with a car seat for that first flight for maximum flexibility, especially on longer flights. This affords you the ability to pivot, whereas you have no fallback option if you opt to fly as an infant lap child. Our own perspective on this was that it’s better to have the seat and not need it than need the seat and not have it. YMMV.

If you do go the car seat route, we’d highly recommend a travel car seat that can be integrated into your stroller (our since outgrown configuration is above). This makes getting around the airport much easier, and the same goes for moving between destinations. There are dedicated solutions for this at a variety of price points.

I also found it pretty easy to thread the bottom of the car seat onto the pull handle of my carry-on, but this won’t be possible with all car seats (threading the top car seat carry handle might, though). Failing that, you can use these straps to attach the car seat to the front of your carry-on (I never did this).

What to Pack

Before our first flight, one piece of advice we heard repeatedly was to pack more diapers and changes of clothes in your carry-on than you could ever conceive of needing. We’re talking something has gone terribly wrong numbers.

This was echoed to the point that it really stuck with me. After all, why would so many parents repeat this same wisdom were it not a real problem?! It was a potential horror story in which I did not want a part, so we packed accordingly. And wow was that ever good advice because, for some scientific reason (air pressure? elevation? turbulence?!), you just need more diapers when in the air.

I won’t divulge the dirty details, but parents who are part of this not-so-special club know what I mean, and the advice stands: err on the side of extreme caution and pack more diapers and changes of clothing than you can ever imagine needing for a normal day.

Similarly, bring an unopened, full-size (not travel size) pack of WaterWipes and a towel. We tend to do extensive organizing with Ziploc bags, which is helpful for apportioning snacks and toys that’ll be doled out gradually over the course of the flight, as well as organization. Generally speaking, you can never have too many wipes, bags, and towels–not just on flights.

Inflatable Toddler Airplane Bed

Our daughter has outgrown flying in her car seat, so we switched to this inflatable airplane mattress for toddlers that fits most economy seats. I’ll admit to being skeptical at first, but this has been an absolute game-changer on longer flights.

Our daughter loves this. It’s like her own, homemade version of the lie-flat couch beds that are coming to United Airlines. It’s great for sleeping or for a play space, and we highly recommend it on that basis.

However, our ‘success rate’ with this inflatable airplane bed is mixed. We’ve used it on about a half-dozen flights in the last year, both international and domestic. Unfortunately, flight attendants on two recent flights aboard United and Southwest have told us this can’t be used; we’ve had no issues on prior flights, so consider this YMMV.

Regardless, pack a blanket and stuffed animal(s) for the flight. Familiar comfort objects can be helpful for facilitating sleep in unfamiliar settings, like airplanes or hotel beds.

Travel Toddler Toys

For flights and getting ready in the morning, we also have a selection of travel toys for toddlers. We opt for a mix of travel blocks and tiles, sticker books, and Montessori toys. These items are mostly random and not travel-specific, but specific items we like a lot are the following:

• 55-Piece Magna Tiles Travel Set
• Melissa & Doug Minnie Mouse Sticker Wow Stamper
• Melissa & Doug Reusable Stickers
• Bluey Aqua Art

Generally speaking, we’ve ordered a lot of Melissa & Doug products (our order history on Amazon shows roughly two-dozen such entries), reusable stickers, and aqua art–not just what’s listed above.

I’ll also add that I’m personally a fan of magnetic tiles and soft building blocks. I have a lot of fun “assisting” in the construction of various structures, which is a nightly father-daughter activity before dinner. Even as a LEGO lover, I prefer these to LEGO DUPLO.

While we’ve purchased plenty of these items, we also tested a lot out prior to buying thanks to our local library. I’ve been surprised by just how much is available there, and I’m not sure why I should be able to rent free dinosaur toys from the library, but I’ll take it! We’ve been able to determine what Megatron really likes–while also rotating through toys more regularly–thanks to the library. So that’s worth checking out.

When she was younger, we used this Busy Board Montessori Toy (great for planes or hotel rooms in the morning), these Giraffes with Suction Cups (nothing special but shockingly effective), these Suction Cup Spinners (perfect for hotel room mirrors and myriad other scenarios), this Melissa & Doug Take-Along Toy with Clip-On Ring, and our all-time most-used toy, this COVID-looking thing.

We’ve had all of these specific items, but they’re also representative of other types of products: activity boards, spinners, things with clips, etc. There are other products that were so popular at home but not really conducive to travel that we packed anyway since they were such huge hits. And as a general matter, we have saved new toys for travel and introduced them gradually over the course of flights, as necessary.

Travel Books

Books are another big one for keeping Megatron entertained on flights, and we have a rotation of books for flights. Our go-to for travel is various Little Golden Books, including Sesame Street, Disney, and other classic titles. Little Golden Books tend to work best because they are slim, but attention-sustaining, and well-paced for toddlers. Not too many words per page, nor too few.

As she’s gotten older, we’ve started reading longer books to her, more 5-minute stories and collections. Many of Megatron’s favorite books actually have nothing to do with Disney. We’re doing our best to indoctrinate her into the fandom, and have largely succeeded at that, but three of her favorite franchises are “Llama Llama” and “Pete the Cat” and “Little Blue Truck.”

Actually, everyone in the Bricker household enjoys all three; they’re humorous and well-paced for toddlers. Although I suspect Megatron might just like the voices I do for Little Blue Truck and his cadre of critters. She also appreciates the classics–books that we all read as children, as did our parents before us. Those almost all hold up, and usually better than newer children’s books!

Travel Snacks

Sarah also packs snacks. Lots and lots of snacks. Not just for the flight, but for the entirety of our trips. One thing to note is that TSA liquid limits do not apply to formula, breast milk, toddler drinks, and baby/toddler food (including puree pouches) in quantities over 3.4 oz (100 ml).

This often trips up new parents, but there are actually a lot of exemptions for the liquids themselves and cooling accessories. These items do not need to fit in a quart-sized bag, nor do they need to be considered medically necessary. Simply flag a TSA security officer before going through screening and let them know you’re carrying items in excess of 3.4 ounces.

You’ll likely need to remove the liquids from a carry-on for separate screening, but in our experience, it’s pretty painless. There’s no stated limit on the official TSA website for traveling with children, but it’s our understanding that it’s a “reasonableness” standard. Given how much Sarah sometimes packs, it seems like the upper limit on reasonable is pretty, pretty high.

Snacks Sarah recommends include the following:

• Yumi Organic Toddler Snacks Bars
• Serenity Kids Organic Baby Food Pouches with 5g Protein
• Cerebelly Organic Baby Food Pouches
• Stonyfield Organic Kids Sugar-Free Yogurt Pouches
• All things Once Upon a Farm Organic

I’m personally a big fan of that Once Upon a Farm variety pack, which we treat as treats. They’re healthy, but can be useful for special occasions or ‘dessert’ after eating something more substantive.

This might seem excessive, especially for longer trips, but we’re particular about what Megatron eats and it’s often challenging to find healthy snacks while traveling. The upside is that, by the end of the trip, our luggage is much lighter and there’s plenty of room for souvenirs and other stuff to bring home. We’ve stopped having to bring a separate packable duffel bag because we have one by virtue of all the space freed from snacks and, previously, diapers.

Screens Debate

Another hot topic into which I’m not going to wade is the debate about screen time. For that, I will defer to the documentary, Toy Story 5, which seems to cast Lilypad as its villain. We are still largely screen-free with our daughter, with a limited number of rare exceptions.

The big exception is that screens can be a “break glass in case of emergency” if all else fails when traveling. The first thing she watched was in such a scenario, with “A Horse’s Tale” chosen from the in-flight relaxation video screen on a long-haul flight when she was one year old. That instantly fixed the situation, as Megatron was transfixed by the “cat-cats” running in slow motion.

She has since watched several episodes of Bluey when all else failed on another flight. She’s also a big fan of the interactive flight-tracking feature. With screens still being somewhat of a novelty or saved for special occasions, they’ve worked consistently for us when left with no better options. We don’t pack a device, relying instead on the seatback entertainment.

Depending on the airline, something like the Fire 10 Kids Tablet can be a lifesaver on flights or in other meltdown scenarios. That’s an educational and entertainment tool for kids with parental controls, goal-setting, time limits, including kid-friendly content from PBS Kids, Disney, and more.

Ultimately, this is all overkill. You do not need 3,000+ words to prepare for your first flight with a baby or toddler. But if you’re anything like us, the advice could prove invaluable in offering reassurance. It’s the type of thing that I wish I’d read before we flew for the first time with an infant. It might’ve saved me some anxiety and lost sleep. Probably not, but I’d like to think so.

As for getting to your destination, one important piece of ‘wisdom’ that’s worth reiterating is that babies exist everywhere. If you forget something, you can buy it. We’ve gone shopping at supermarkets and Babies ‘R’ Us in Japan and France, buying food, diapers, toys, etc. For return flights, we often stock up on sticker books at Daiso, and as I write this, our daughter is “reading” an odd book about bugs that’s in Japanese. Kids adapt easily; it’s us adults who are the problem.

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Your Thoughts

If you’re similarly fearful of that first flight with your baby or toddler, did this put your mind at ease at all? Do you use any of the toys, gadgets, books or snacks we recommend? If you’re a seasoned parent, do you have any tips & tricks to prepare for and “survive” those first flights? Agree or disagree with our advice? We love hearing from readers, so please share any other thoughts or questions you have in the comments below!