Thank You!!!
Wow. We are absolutely astounded and appreciative of the outpouring of love and support that you all have expressed in response to our news that we’re having a baby. Honestly, we didn’t know what to expect in response and were quite apprehensive about sharing our story.
About one thousand of you have responded to the post and many others have sent private messages. A lot of these are deeply personal, with journeys that differ in detail but generally ‘rhyme’ with our experience. We’re humbled by the joy and happiness you’ve shared for and with us, and incredibly thankful for all of you wonderful readers. We are also honored and grateful that so many of you have opened up about your own pain. We know that isn’t easy.
We’ve already spent hours–staying up late into the evening last night (by our current standards)–reading every single message that you all have posted or sent. All of them filled up our hearts; some of them filled our eyes. Your words got us choked up repeatedly, and we are so incredibly appreciative of your support. Whether a “congratulations” message or a personal story, it all means a lot to us. Again, we didn’t know what would happen when putting ourselves out there…but you all have easily exceeded our expectations.
As indicated in the announcement post, writing that was tremendously difficult as we tried to thread the needle on over and under-sharing, while also trying to be mindful about others’ sensitivities and scars, and not inviting more pain in the process. While some entire paragraphs flowed to us with ease and were done in a matter of minutes–words we always knew we wanted to write–we struggled with some single sentences for hours.
We had been working on that post since the day after our first doctor’s appointment and, as recently as last week, threw out an entire draft (minus a Dino-Rama joke; those never miss!) that would’ve ended up being longer than the published piece. It probably goes without saying, but the portion about infertility struggles was the tough part to tackle. That originally included more detail about the actual process and a lengthy rant about fertility clinics’ using emotionally manipulative tactics and spurious statistics. (Google “fertility clinics exploitation” for a small samping of eye-opening articles on the topic.)
For those who haven’t struggled with infertility, it would have come across as bitter. For those who have struggled, the missing words can easily be filled in with your lived experiences. If you know, you know. In any case, writing it out–even if throwing it away–was cathartic and perhaps brought some semblance of closure. It was also the right call given that we’re sharing happy and not angry news!
Suffice to say, we stressed greatly over what to share and what to leave out. Beyond our own pain, we didn’t want to imply that having children is the only means of achieving fulfillment, and those who walk other paths in life–whether by choice or involuntarily–are somehow lesser than or without purpose. That’s pervasive (even if often implicit) sentiment, but we certainly do not believe it. Nevertheless, it took us years of grappling with exactly those ideas before we had finally started coming to terms with being a childless couple late last year.
We also didn’t want to cause anyone else to revisit unpleasant memories or be callous towards those who are still struggling. As more than a few readers noted in the comments, this type of announcement is itself painful to read for many, and those complicated and conflicted emotions can be hard to understand if you’ve never been through it.
The sentiment to “never give up hope” starts to ring hollow after so many years of trying. How much heartbreak are two people supposed to endure while still retaining optimism? Words of encouragement are easy for those who haven’t struggled, or who have ‘successfully’ come through the other side.
The point is that we wrestled with what to say and what to leave out, finding excuses to kick the can down the road on sharing the news. Sharing the good news! We braced ourselves for possible judgment or negative reactions. One day later, reading all of the actual, unequivocally supportive and gracious comments…and those concerns seem laughably silly now.
We were instead greeted with an outpouring of comfort, support, and kindness. Your own heartwrenching and heartwarming stories about going through infertility treatments that bear strikingly similarities to our struggles. You opened up and shared your own vulnerabilities, excitement, and joyousness for two people who you’ve “only” met online. Your words mean the world to us–probably far more than most of you will ever know. Thank you so, so much.
It is also worth emphasizing the intensity of the air quotes around “only” above. We started out the pregnancy announcement by calling you all part of the DTB family and concluded by saying how greatly we appreciate your support and readership. We mean that. Megatron is going to be so loved.
How we wish we could’ve heard some of your wisdom and experiences at our lowest points. It’s one thing to read about others’ journeys in online support groups and whatnot–it’s another entirely coming from people who know you.
Many of you seem to have surmised what we were going through, so maybe we should’ve said something before. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and sharing this years ago would’ve been a different, half-written story with potentially different outcomes and responses.
Okay, enough of that. Let’s look forward a little. Not to Megatron’s arrival and that glorious first meeting with Figment, but in the more immediate future. As some of you already figured out, there’s already been a lot that Sarah has not been able to do in recent months. You can probably think back and fill in some blanks, such as why Tom is the only one in the TRON Lightcycle Run on-ride photos (looking like a very cool dude).
Now that the cat is out of the bag, we can switch up our approach. Obviously, there will still be significant limitations, with a decent amount of Tom-only stuff for the foreseeable future. But that’s nothing new, so if you haven’t already noticed in the last few months, you won’t see any change there. (Suffice to say, our divide and conquer approach to Early Entry is not going to happen anytime soon!)
On the plus side, no more clandestine visits to Disneyland. We now can spend more time in the parks and, as many of you suggested, work on “What to Expect (at Disney) When You’re Expecting” posts and strategy. And of course, more photos of us as we continue on this journey, which has already gone by so quickly. Oh and speaking of which, thanks for all the complimentary words about the maternity photos; those were also much appreciated!
We’ve also made notes of some of the books, strollers and other products for babies and children you’ve recommended, and have a lot of research and learning to do. (The Dwight Schrute stroller testing remark was not a joke–it’s a goal!) Beyond that, we have to catch up and keep up with all of the ongoing changes at Walt Disney World and Disneyland, which would be a herculean task in normal times given the volume of recent news. It has been especially challenging as we’ve juggled it with all of this and everything else.
(Above is our last character photo before learning the news–also technically one of our first maternity photos–with OG DCA Mickey & Minnie Mouse. Fitting, as we now embark upon our own new Disney California adventure!)
Ultimately, we just wanted to stop and share a very sincere and heartfelt thank you. We truly are fortunate to have the best and most thoughtful readers. That may seem like a trite platitude, but we really mean it. Spend any amount of time browsing the comments section here versus most other websites and you’ll see the contrast. There’s a reason why the first rule of the internet is never read the comments. Thankfully, that has never applied with you all.
We’ll be back with more updates as pregnancy continues and Megatron (or Baby Bricker, Disney Tourist Baby, etc.) comes into the world. In the meantime, we’ll return to your regularly scheduled programming about reservation modifications, minions, Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party, etc. Again, thank you all so, so much for your support and opening your arms and hearts to us. It really means a lot to us–more than you can probably imagine!
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YOUR THOUGHTS
Any additional thoughts you have in response to our pregnancy announcement? Disney planning and pregnancy posts you’d be interested in reading? (Again, we don’t know how much we’re going to feel comfortable putting ourselves and our child out there, so we’d greatly appreciate you granting us grace and patience as we find our footing and prepare to be parents!) Hearing your feedback is always appreciated, so please share your thoughts below in the comments!
So happy for you guys and can’t wait to read your Disney baby posts. We just welcomed our first child in March after some infertility struggles. He was conceived at Disney (tmi?) and went to Disneyland Paris and Disney World in my belly. Sufficed to say we can’t wait for his first Disney trip on the outside! Congrats and I know you can’t wait for that either! So much love for you both!
Hello Sarah and Tom,
I am a quiet reader of your blog, being myself as well very much the “planner” as you call it – but I somehow think it is the right time to say “thank you” for all the time you both somehow gave for all of us.
You are thankful to your readers, but as one boss said to me – “you have the boss you deserve” ; while this may not always be true for bosses, I feel in this case you have the readers and comments you absolutely deserve.
I wish you all the best and while not knowing you personally, I have a gut feeling you will be just wonderful parents.
I will be very impressed if you manage the planning techniques as well with your little one. I have personally failed dramatically! But it will be a true inspiration if you manage to do so ! I have very high hopes as you can see 🙂
If not – don’t be too harsh on yourself 😉
And as for early hours… don’t underestimate a young kid with a passion for parks (or the ungodly hours they are up).
I wish you all the very best
I am so happy for you both! I have been a regular reader of your blog for several years now, so I feel like I’m reading a baby announcement from old friends. I’m so sorry for your struggles, but thrilled it has turned out in a happy ending. Looking forward to seeing all of the fun the three of you have in the future!
The best thing about having a stroller at WDW is having a place to park your stuff while you go on rides. We never knew how much we’d miss it until our kids were old enough to not need one.
I’m a dad of two and I’m very close with my kids. The best advice I got when we were expecting our first was a little surprising to me, but it was spot on (this is for Tom): My coworker told me not to freak out if I didn’t immediately feel an overwhelming connection to the baby–that it would come with time. And he was absolutely right. Both of my kids had an instant connection with my wife but for me it took a while. My purpose during that time was to take care of my wife. Every diaper she changed was for the baby’s sake. Every diaper I changed was for my wife’s sake. I kinda think this is how it’s supposed to be–mom takes care of baby, dad takes care of mom. Obviously I spent lots of time taking care of babies too but my motivation was always her. When the kids hit about 1yo, that’s when the bonds with me started to get stronger.
More practical advice: Keep a box of nitrile gloves by the changing pad. Diaper cream is really hard to get off of your fingers. With a glove, you take care of everything then pull the glove off over the dirty diaper when you’re done and it’s all well contained.
I’m really happy for you guys!
This is so exciting for you two! I obviously had no idea on the circumstances, but have remarked in the past that Disney as adults (when I first went) is so much different with now 2 kids in our case. Hopefully it is frustrating, fun, and everything you have hoped and waited for! One last passing note about the place 2 people I have never met take in our lives, I am the avid reader more so than my wife, but when I said Tom and Sarah are having a baby, she was just as excited as if it were friends we see all the time. Congrats to you! Maybe one day we will see you 3 (!) in the parks!
Congratulations! This is fantastic news and I hope you have an uneventful pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. I wanted to throw in another book recommendation since you guys are so analytical like me: Emily Oster’s Expecting Better. For strollers, we had the uppababy minu which is great but if I had to go back, I’d strongly consider the babyzen yo-yo which is even more compact. We also had a few other strollers and the vista but imo, the vista is too much of a pain to get in and out of a car. Our kids are a bit older now and we bought gb pockits for traveling so we really favor compact strollers. My only real advice is not to expect a single stroller to meet all of your needs, but the minu or yo-yo will be good for most things. Also, I would buy used when possible!
I have enjoyed this blog for so many years and wanted to send a huge congratulations to you both!!! My son is 7 years old and having experienced Disney with my husband as both a childless couple and as parents, I can tell you that there is nothing more magical than seeing the World through a child’s eyes. We’ve taken our son 3 times (with a 4th trip planned for this summer) and each trip is better than the last. He’s now at the age where he is very involved and interested in the planning. He also no longer needs diapers or a stroller, so that’s a plus. I’m looking forward to your posts about how to conquer Disney with kids. Again, congratulations and best wishes to you!
Congrats to you both! We have done Disney while expecting and with infants, toddlers, preschoolers, etc. It’s a different experience every time but always a blast!
Congratulations!!! We took our IVF twins* on their “rite of passage” Disney trip last year, and though we have no immediate plans to go back, I enjoyed your blog so much that I keep reading it! I’m so happy for you guys, and sorry about everything you had to go through to get here! you’re going to be fun parents with very well planned vacations!
*AND their little sister who was a surprise pregnancy when they were 8 months old!
Congratulations, and thank you so much for sharing!!
I know a ton of people have shared their infertility struggles here – I, too, am in the thick of it with my husband, not knowing if we’ll ever get to be parents (something we want so badly). Pregnancy announcements can be hard for me while we’re struggling, but you so beautifully and sensitively shared this news and I am so grateful.
Wishing you an easy, healthy pregnancy, a healthy child, and countless Disney memories with your little one!!
Clearly, you both have an adoration and admiration for one another to have stuck it out together so long through the thin and the thinner. There is no better environment in which to welcome (and to nourish) a little one than when two people love each other as much as you noticeably do. You are both going to be awesome parents! My sincerest congratulations to you both!
Your writing (as always) was PERFECT. I am so thrilled for you guys, and your articulation of the struggle of even what to write really shines a light on the infertility experience. When we finally became pregnant after our long journey, I often felt like I was moving through “stages of joy” rather than the infamous stages of grief. Progressive pregnancy milestones, sharing news, and all the steps to the big day. And then when you meet Megatron? The love will literally take your breath away. And do you want to know the best part? It’s been that way, and growing every day, for the last 12 years when our little star in the sky finally came to us (and I know it will continue!) So happy for you guys, and can’t wait to read along 🙂
congratulations to you both once again with young Megatron well and truly on the way that is just wonderful news.
enjoy your Dwight schrute shopping experience with prams. if I may provide 2 piecees of advice… ensure you lift left the pram to make sure that it’s something that you can both put into a car with ease when it folds, make sure it’s exactly what you want. Test the prams out 100% Throw them everywhere around the shop. Ok don’t throw them just push. A brilliant book is save our sleep by Tizzy Hall if you like routine. I do! 100% useful
Félicitations from parisiens ! What a wonderful post. We sincerly wish you the best journey ever for this (“unplannable” but so exciting) aventure. Merci for every smile you bring and share with us, and this one especially. Take care !
Bless you both for sharing this latest post and of course your news. We left it too late really to have children but reading your news especially after realising what you’ve been going through when I thought this was just a great site about visiting Disney has been truly heartwarming.
Brave people to truly follow your dreams and I am so glad you got there in the end, enjoy it forever.
Sending you the best of everything from Essex in the UK !
I have both had problems with fertility and also not. Strangely not all pregnancies are the same. I’ve experienced the heartache and also the pleasant surprise of Whoopie ! That was easy ! Sometimes that initial push gets the ball rolling. It will be so much fun watching your little BB grow.
Oh I missed the original post! Congrats congrats congrats congrats! I have 3 kids from IVF a singleton and a set of identical twins (my embryo split). I used first aid at MK so much for my progesterone shots that they knew me! Grueling process but so worth it in the end!
Congratulations! I’m so happy for you two. Me and my husband also went through unexplained infertility and were blessed with 3 kids through IVF. It’s rough especially for someone like you guys and myself who likes to research, plan, and analyze everything for improvement and accomplishment. Infertility was something I could not control or overcome no matter how I tried and studied… and it hurt. I could pass CPA exams no problem but my sister who was not so good in school had no issues getting pregnant. I am so happy that you guys ended a struggle journey. You both will be great parents and I cannot wait for the strategy blogs about Disney with a baby, small child, & Japan trip reports with a child!
Such amazing news! It’s very courageous and important to share your struggles with infertility. We are so afraid to share even when so many deal with the same issues. I was so lucky to have two daughters through IVF and have been taking them to Disney since they were in my belly! I can’t wait to read about your new experience’s!