A Childless Millennial’s Guide to Disney

Are you a childless millennial? Enjoy visiting Walt Disney World without kids? Love to line up in front of parents for Mickey Mouse pretzels? We have the perfect guide for you. In this post, we’ll cover the things that childless couples and millennials are allowed to do at Walt Disney World!

This follows a viral Facebook post in which one brave mother had the fortitude to stand up to (well, via social media long after the fact) the scourge to humanity that is adults without kids visiting the Disney. This Facebook post has made the rounds before, but it blew up after an editorial proclaiming that childless millennials going to Walt Disney World is weird. For some reason, this elicited an internet firestorm from clueless millennials who don’t realize they should only be obsessed with age-appropriate things like Applebee’s, bingo, and conspiracy theories.

Frankly, I’m glad someone finally had the courage to confront us nefarious millennials. Per “news” articles written by Boomers, we millennials are responsible for killing an eye-popping number of purported American national treasures: restaurant chains, cable television, doorbells, cereal, handshakes, the housing market, domestic beer, Hooters, diamonds, golf, Harley Davidson, dating, consumerism, gyms, mayonnaise, and so much more. It’d be a shame if Disney joined our lengthy list of victims…

Of course, I don’t actually blame millennials for these casualties, just as I don’t blame the Lost Generation for killing the horse-drawn carriage industry or Baby Boomers for creating the concept of a participation award. I do think this scapegoating of millennials is really odd and, in many cases, misplaced projection for systemic changes set in motion by earlier generations.

With that said, here’s our exhaustive and comprehensive list of things childless millennials are allowed to do at Walt Disney World…

1. Anything Anyone Else Does – That’s it. That’s the list. (You can also feel free to print out this post so you have it handy when visiting Walt Disney World, though.)

You might want to avoid things like Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique, but pretty much everything else is fair game. I don’t think we need a long-winded diatribe, feel-good Walt Disney quote, or pointed “clap-back” here. That would be preaching to the choir; if you’re reading this, you already know that the magic of Disney transcends age, and there are different layers to the parks that appeal to different ages, demographics, and interests.

We could dissect the meticulous level of Imagineered detail goes into the parks, much of which is over the heads of children. We could list the world-class dining, bars, and entertainment aimed squarely at an older demographic. We could showcase resorts, spas, golf, recreation, etc., that is not for kids. All of that might be reassuring, but it’s unnecessary. If you’re an adult fan of Disney who doesn’t have kids, there’s presumably a reason for that, and you don’t need to be told again what that is.

On the off chance that you’re finding this blog post as a childless millennial who was inadvertently turned on to Disney as a result of this whole media kerfuffle and started reading this in a sincere attempt to plan a trip and find things that might appeal specifically to you, our apologies. (At least there were some positive unintended consequences of the controversy!)

We’d recommend consulting our Walt Disney World for Adults or Honeymoon Tips for Walt Disney World posts. (The latter is a good resource even if you’re not honeymooning at WDW.) Or just our regular Walt Disney World Vacation Planning Guide, because that’s pretty much universally applicable. Most experiences in the Disney parks are designed for a range of ages; even seemingly kid-oriented things like Fantasyland dark rides can be appreciated by adults for their whimsy, charm, and (potentially) nostalgia.

Finally, a bit of sincere commentary. Millennials are not without blame. We are at least partially responsible for the proliferation of clickbait ‘millennials are killing’ content like this. (Finally, something we’re aiding instead of killing!) Boomers are also partially responsible, as they seek a convenient boogeyman to blame for perceived societal issues, changing times, and the march of progress.

Articles like that one aren’t going anywhere any time soon. However, every click or share on social media–even ones that are ‘hate-clicks’ or voicing disagreement–helps guarantee that another such article will be written. This is an art Howard Stern mastered in the 90s, but apparently we haven’t learned anything since. (In fairness, most millennials probably weren’t of age then.)

Expect plenty more articles like that ‘childless millennials are weird for liking Disney’ one, because we took the bait even harder this time, despite it being like the 23rd mainstream article this year that trotted out the exact same tired trope. What should be inducing a yawn at this point is instead prompting an impassioned response.

I’m cognizant of the fact that this post also only helps further fan the flames, which is why I don’t normally weigh in on pointless topics like this. There’s no winning this ‘argument’, but you cannot lose if you do not play.

In at least partially keeping with this mentality, I deliberately did not link to the viral Facebook post or article that inspired this blog post. You’ve undoubtedly read articles like it before or heard similar sentiment from friends. You don’t need to read it. You already know what it says.

Perhaps naively, I’m mostly hopeful that this blog post sparks introspection. We don’t have to take the bait every single time. I used to have an office colleague who asked (disingenuously) why I visited Walt Disney World so much, and poked fun at me for “going to play with Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse again this weekend.” Finally, I didn’t respond with a persuasive argument–I gave a terse, “[expletive] yeah, and I’m going to have a [expletive] good time chilling with my homies” before walking away. That pretty much put an end to that.

Personally, I’ve lost the compulsion to engage in conversations like this. Maybe I’m getting old, but I don’t have the energy or patience for any commentary or discussions I perceive as being in bad faith, or for the sake of inducing an argument. Not everyone has to approve of our interests or hobbies. You don’t have to offer a justification for what you like, or bring others around to your line of thinking. Disney fans shouldn’t be a cult that feels compelled to indoctrinate the uninitiated. If you still find yourself tempted to engage with every trolling post or comment like this, just remember that every adult without kids who you do convince is one more person in front of you in line.

Planning a Walt Disney World trip? Learn about hotels on our Walt Disney World Hotels Reviews page. For where to eat, read our Walt Disney World Restaurant Reviews. To save money on tickets or determine which type to buy, read our Tips for Saving Money on Walt Disney World Tickets post. Our What to Pack for Disney Trips post takes a unique look at clever items to take. For what to do and when to do it, our Walt Disney World Ride Guides will help. For comprehensive advice, the best place to start is our Walt Disney World Trip Planning Guide for everything you need to know!

Your Thoughts

What do you think about this whole ‘childless adults doing Disney is weird’ thing? Think we should just ignore it, or try to “beat” the stereotype? Do you agree or disagree with our commentary? Any questions we can help you answer? Hearing your feedback–even when you disagree with us–is both interesting to us and helpful to other readers, so please share your thoughts below in the comments!

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