In the immortal words of Frank Costanza, I’ve got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re going to hear about it! This blog is normally sunshine and rainbows, but it’s time for you to hear what I really think. It’s time for my proverbial “Airing of Disney Parks Grievances.” (Updated December 10, 2020.)
In our Essence of the Disney Magic post that discusses what makes the parks so special, we share a Walt Disney quote about it taking “people to make the dream a reality.” Clearly, he was referring to the exceptional Cast Members, as all other guests do at Walt Disney World is clog up walkways, obstruct views, make noise during attractions, and lead to longer wait times. 😉
Fair warning: this post is in no way helpful to Walt Disney World, Disneyland, or other park trip planning. Actually, it’s not really helpful to anyone, anywhere at all. Think of it as a junk food blog post that you shouldn’t waste your time reading. That is, unless you don’t really care about wasting your time on the internet, in which case, read away!
Before we get going, I want to underscore that this is meant in good fun and with a lighthearted sense to it. No one is perfect. While these things do bug me, I’m sure I do plenty of things that bug others, and I certain don’t have any malice towards anyone who does these things.
Most of the time, I don’t think people are doing any of these things intentionally, or at least with the express purpose of inconveniencing others. While this could be a helpful heads up to let you know what behavior might be unintentionally obnoxious, it’s mostly just some lighthearted venting.
With those caveats out of the way, I’ll let my inner Frank Costanza (I’d like to think he’d be proud of this list…but at the same time would be its biggest offender) take over and share a few of my Disney theme park pet peeves…
Face Mask Fights – Before we even get inside the parks, here’s one that has already become an exhausting pet peeve in just the few months since the contentious issue of face masks first arose. There are several “layers” to this annoyance, but the biggest occurs online.
That’s likely because this is one of the few Walt Disney World “debates” that’s grounded in real world controversy. Sure, tensions can get heated when arguing about which Country Bear is best (Big Al) or how much Beauty and the Beast Sing-Along sucks (an infinite amount), but those topics are ultimately frivolous and in good fun. This is different. Passions have boiled over, with fans on both ends of the spectrum spewing vitriol towards the other that should be reserved only for Dino-Rama diehards.
Ironically enough, face masks don’t really register as a major pet peeve inside the Walt Disney World theme parks. There are minor annoyances, such as repeat rule-breakers, overzealous policing, exposed nose nonsense, endless announcements, and silly scenarios with inflexible rules when no one else is around. The masks themselves also qualify as such a minor annoyance, and we cannot wait until sometime in 2021 when they’re hopefully a distant memory.
Nevertheless, the pet peeve here is almost entirely online. In-park guests at Walt Disney World have been surprisingly good, irrespective of personal beliefs. There have been a handful of intense encounters by belligerent guests towards Cast Members, but that happens with just about everything–from ride height requirements to Baby Yoda merchandise. Speaking of Cast Members…
Rudeness to Cast Members – Don’t like the quality of the beef patty in your burger at Cosmic Ray’s? Having yet another issue with your MagicBand communicating with the Mickey head readers? Think lines for everything are too long? Don’t like wearing a mask even though you were warned of the rule about two-dozen times before entering the park? Yelling at the nearest Cast Member seems like a totally reasonable solution that will absolutely fix the problem.
Oh wait, no it doesn’t. At all. Frontline Cast Members are about as much to blame for those problems and decisions as the McDonald’s burger flipper is for Hamburglar’s many crimes. The Cast Members you see in parks don’t create the unpopular policies, even if they are tasked with enforcing them. Yelling at any of these people is wholly unreasonable. What exactly are guests expecting to accomplish?
Spending a lot of money on a Walt Disney World vacation does not entitle guests to be jerks to anyone who gets in their way or prevents them from having a “perfect” trip. Cast Members go out of their way to put a smile on kids’ faces and make magic for guests, and should be treated accordingly.
This is especially true now. Cast Members are under increased stress about their health, worrying about their future employment given massive layoffs (or sad to have lost colleagues and friends), and bearing the brunt of guest complaints about reduced entertainment, policy changes, etc. A good rule in life is: “don’t be a dick.” If that’s too tough to follow, a lower standard is: “don’t be a dick to people regarding situations that are out of their control, especially when they are doing their best to be nice and help you.”
Walking Etiquette – I walk at an extremely brisk pace. I have no time for shenanigans such as meandering aimlessly. However, I understand not everyone desires or can maintain my pace, and I certainly don’t expect it.
What I also don’t expect is a convoy of 4 double-wide strollers walking side by side taking up the entire walkway so no one can pass. This is especially true in the current time of physical distancing–you should never be walking more than two-wide right now.
Instead, observe the rules of the road. Allow sufficient room for oncoming traffic. Leave open space next to you for a “passing lane.” On a highway, you wouldn’t aimlessly zigzag from lane to lane without regard for traffic behind you, so don’t do the same in walkways. Likewise, just as you wouldn’t come to a dead stop in the middle of your lane when driving 70 MPH, don’t stop in your tracks to look at a map in the middle of a walkway. Navigate the parks like it’s not your first time walking in public.
Disproportionate Line Jumping – I’m a reasonable guy. If you’re a large family with a herd of small children, I get that a trip to the parks is a veritable Detrol commercial. Bathroom breaks are a frequent, time-consuming part of the theme park experience. I understand one parent taking a child to the bathroom while the other jumps in line with the rest of the pack.
What I don’t appreciate is when one member of a multi-generational party of 27 jumps in line, and then slowly the other 26 members trickle ahead of me. That’s not meeting the “rest” of your party, it’s thinly-veiled line-jumping. I never say anything to these people, but you better believe the back of their heads receive a contemptuous glare.
My rule: unless 51% of your party is farther forward, the rest of the party moves back. Fair enough?
Talking on Attractions – Again, I’m reasonable. I understand that parks are a social environment. They aren’t a library or a movie theater. Some small, quiet comments here and there are totally fine.
Now it’s everyone else’s turn to be reasonable and understand that the rest of us waited 45 minutes in line so we could enjoy an immersive attraction, not so we could hear you talk about that epic party from last night in excruciating detail as if it has all the drama of the Iran-Contra Affair.
Flaunting Disney Knowledge – Let’s level with one another: I write a Disney blog and you read at least one. We both clearly have too much free time on our hands and probably know much more about Disney than John Q Public.
This is neither a Scarlet Letter, nor is it a badge of honor. Some Disney fans don’t seem to understand this. They share their Mad Park Smartz with their friends in the parks. There’s nothing wrong with this by itself, but when it’s done in painfully loud voices that are clearly for the benefit of those around them in a queue, that’s where I draw the line.
You know what I’m talking about. This is the Disney Parks equivalent of loudly groaning when you get your swell on at the gym cuz everyone should see how jacked and tan you are.
Quoting Attractions – Continuing on the ‘talking’ subject, here’s my biggest pet peeve: quoting lines from attractions in the attraction right before the line is said in the attraction. This is a variation of Flaunting Disney Knowledge, but it’s so annoying that it deserves its own spot.
I don’t mind people quoting attractions in general. I’d like to think the wisdom gleaned from Mater’s Junkyard Jamboree can be applied to all facets of life. What I mind is people beating the attraction to the punch, showing off their own knowledge as if this gives them some sort of ill-gotten street cred. It doesn’t, and it’s annoying.
The absolute worst example of this was among the regulars of the now-extinct Adventurers Club (hey guys, wonder why it closed? I’m guessing you going every night, never buying drinks, while simultaneously creeping out non-regulars didn’t help), but just try and go on the Jungle Cruise without someone saying the words ‘backside of water’ before the skipper, or to the Haunted Mansion without someone saying ‘there’s always my way’ before the Ghost Host.
Stroller Etiquette – The next two actually are pretty insignificant or nonexistent issues right now. In the case of strollers, a rule change last year plus attendance caps this year and fewer families visiting has made a big difference. In the case of fireworks…there aren’t any. Nevertheless, both are worth reiterating for the sake of posterity.
Anyway, if you operate a stroller, please be mindful of the heels in front of you. Let’s again use the roadway analogy: strollers are like cars–yield to pedestrians. Don’t use your stroller as a battering ram to help you plow through crowds when Walt Disney World walkways are a bit congested with traffic!
Shoulder-Children – Are you 6′ tall and want to put your kids on your shoulders for the fireworks? No problem! It’s not as if there are hundreds of people behind you who also want to see the show or anything. I really am curious as to what line of thought can justify this?
Kids have a tough time seeing a show from the ground and parents have a difficult time holding them at normal eye level. This leaves parents with a conundrum: put them on shoulders or don’t. If you put them on your shoulders, they can see but you’re blocking the view of countless people behind you. This effectively says, “my children seeing the show is more important than anyone behind me seeing it.”
My rule: if you want to put your kids on your shoulders, do it from a location where there are not people behind you. Alternatively, choose a viewing location where there are not obstructions in front of you. Both exist, particularly when it comes to Happily Ever After in Magic Kingdom.
Shoulder kids could really fall under a general penumbra of “Selfish Guests” that would encompass everything from sitting in the middle seats of what clearly will be a packed theater (despite directions from Cast Members to move all the way down), throwing trash on the ground or not cleaning up the trash at your table for counter service meals, smoking wherever you feel like, waving around your selfie stick without regard for others, and a myriad of other things. Again, that $100+ per day ticket is not a license to do whatever the heck you want because, “YOU PAID A TON OF MONEY FOR THIS VACATION.”
Have you steered clear of my airing of Disney theme park grievances thus far? Well, I have a lot more that you are doing! You couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe…ah, I lost my train of thought. 😉 (I’m sorry, a lot of the references in this blog probably don’t make sense if you’re not a Seinfeld fan. Then again, I’m not so sure I want people reading this blog who aren’t Seinfeld fans.)
Planning a Walt Disney World trip? Learn about hotels on our Walt Disney World Hotels Reviews page. For where to eat, read our Walt Disney World Restaurant Reviews. To save money on tickets or determine which type to buy, read our Tips for Saving Money on Walt Disney World Tickets post. Our What to Pack for Disney Trips post takes a unique look at clever items to take. For what to do and when to do it, our Walt Disney World Ride Guides will help. For comprehensive advice, the best place to start is our Walt Disney World Trip Planning Guide for everything you need to know!
What are your Disney theme park pet peeves? Are you so high on the magic of pixie dust when you visit the parks that nothing annoys you? What do I do that annoys you (this is the airing of theme park grievances, after all)? Feel free to vent in the comments. You won’t change anything about how other guests behave at Walt Disney World, but at least it’s therapeutic!